Quotes by Steve Jobs

On His Products

I don’t think I’ve ever worked so hard on something, but working on Macintosh was the neatest experience of my life. Almost everyone who worked on it will say that. None of us wanted to release it at the end. It was as though we knew that once it was out of our hands, it wouldn’t be ours anymore. When we finally presented it at the shareholders’ meeting, everyone in the auditorium gave it a five-minute ovation. What was incredible to me was that I could see the Mac team in the first few rows. It was as though none of us could believe we’d actually finished it. Everyone started crying. [Playboy, Feb. 1, 1985]

We made the buttons on the screen look so good you’ll want to lick them. [On Mac OS X, Fortune, Jan. 24, 2000]

It will go down in history as a turning point for the music industry. This is landmark stuff. I can’t overestimate it! [On the iTunes Music Store, Fortune, May 12, 2003]

Every once in a while a revolutionary product comes along that changes everything. … One is very fortunate if you get to work on just one of these in your career. Apple’s been very fortunate it’s been able to introduce a few of these into the world. [Announcement of the iPhone, Jan. 9, 2007]

On Business

You know, my main reaction to this money thing is that it’s humorous, all the attention to it, because it’s hardly the most insightful or valuable thing that’s happened to me. [Playboy, Feb. 1, 1985]

Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me … Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful… that’s what matters to me. [The Wall Street Journal, May 25, 1993]

This is not a one-man show. What’s reinvigorating this company is two things: One, there’s a lot of really talented people in this company who listened to the world tell them they were losers for a couple of years, and some of them were on the verge of starting to believe it themselves. But they’re not losers. What they didn’t have was a good set of coaches, a good plan. A good senior management team. But they have that now. [BusinessWeek, May 25, 1998]

Innovation has nothing to do with how many R&D dollars you have. When Apple came up with the Mac, IBM was spending at least 100 times more on R&D. It’s not about money. It’s about the people you have, how you’re led, and how much you get it. [Fortune, Nov. 9, 1998]

The cure for Apple is not cost-cutting. The cure for Apple is to innovate its way out of its current predicament. [Apple Confidential: The Real Story of Apple Computer Inc., May 1999]

The problem with the Internet startup craze isn’t that too many people are starting companies; it’s that too many people aren’t sticking with it. That’s somewhat understandable, because there are many moments that are filled with despair and agony, when you have to fire people and cancel things and deal with very difficult situations. That’s when you find out who you are and what your values are. So when these people sell out, even though they get fabulously rich, they’re gypping themselves out of one of the potentially most rewarding experiences of their unfolding lives. Without it, they may never know their values or how to keep their newfound wealth in perspective. [Fortune, Jan. 24, 2000]

The system is that there is no system. That doesn’t mean we don’t have process. Apple is a very disciplined company, and we have great processes. But that’s not what it’s about. Process makes you more efficient. But innovation comes from people meeting up in the hallways or calling each other at 10:30 at night with a new idea, or because they realized something that shoots holes in how we’ve been thinking about a problem. It’s ad hoc meetings of six people called by someone who thinks he has figured out the coolest new thing ever and who wants to know what other people think of his idea. And it comes from saying no to 1,000 things to make sure we don’t get on the wrong track or try to do too much. We’re always thinking about new markets we could enter, but it’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on the things that are really important. [BusinessWeek, Oct. 12, 2004]

On His Competitors

Some people are saying that we ought to put an IBM PC on every desk in America to improve productivity. It won’t work. The special incantations you have to learn this time are the “slash q-zs” and things like that. The manual for WordStar, the most popular word-processing program, is 400 pages thick. To write a novel, you have to read a novel––one that reads like a mystery to most people. They’re not going to learn slash q-z any more than they’re going to learn Morse code. That is what Macintosh is all about. [Playboy, Feb. 1, 1985]

The only problem with Microsoft is they just have no taste. They have absolutely no taste. And I don’t mean that in a small way, I mean that in a big way, in the sense that they don’t think of original ideas, and they don’t bring much culture into their products. I am saddened, not by Microsoft’s success — I have no problem with their success. They’ve earned their success, for the most part. I have a problem with the fact that they just make really third-rate products. [Triumph of the Nerds, 1996]

I wish him the best, I really do. I just think he and Microsoft are a bit narrow. He’d be a broader guy if he had dropped acid once or gone off to an ashram when he was younger. [On Bill Gates, The New York Times, Jan. 12, 1997]

from Wall Street Journal, 8/24/2011

Brain Teasers II

In Bed v/s In School

Funny Japanese Trick

Transformation

A boy and his Father visiting from a third world country were at an American shopping mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.

The boy asked his Father, “What is this Father?”.

The Father responded, “Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don`t know what it is!”.

While the boy and his Father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up.

They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a voluptuous 24 year old woman stepped out.

The Father said to his son, “Go get your Mother”.

Australia

Australia is a wonderful, beautiful island continent home to a peaceful, happy, and loving people… that Mother Nature hates so much she can taste stabbing.

You can say Octopuses or Octopodes all you want; if it’s good enough for The Beatles, it’s good enough for Cracked.

Just The Facts

—————————————————————————————————-

1. Australia is the largest island nation in the world, straddling the border of the Pacific and Indian Ocean.
2. It has a rich and exotic ecosystem supporting fantastic flora and fauna…all of which were unfortunately eaten by the monsters that live there.
3. Its primary spoken language is screaming.

From the Abyss It Is Birthed

———————————————————————————————————————-

Back in the 1770s the British Empire discovered Australia and, after finding it generally unfit for human habitation, proceeded to send all of their criminals and generally unwanted peasants there…because basic human empathy was not to be invented until the year 1821.

After somehow managing to survive on Monster Island for over a century, it was considered only fair to grant the Australian citizens their freedom and on January 1st, 1901, Australia gained federation of its colonies, and The Commonwealth of Australia was born.

Things in Australia that Will Kill You

—————————————————————————————————

Everything. No, seriously: Everything.

First there’s the wildlife: If something appears to be cute and harmless in Australia, then we promise you – it has only evolved that way to lure you close enough for the thousands of ravenous, prehensile blade-tongues to descended upon you.

Then there’s the Geography: Consisting mostly of arid, dry desert, (populated by over 100 venomous species of snake,) the harsh local climate is peppered with small, livable areas presumably just to lull human beings into a false sense of security.

Ah, but the tropical beaches, you say! Surely the paradise on Earth that is the Australian beach makes up for an entire continent of biological weapons. And it’s true: Australia is known for having some of the best beaches in the world…all you have to worry about are the Saltwater Crocs, Great White Sharks, poisonous Stonefish, or being stung by the Box Jellyfish: The deadliest and most painful sting of any Jellyfish species in the world.

Your best bet is just to stay in the city then, right? Enjoy the local culture; go visit the capital of Canberra, or visit beautiful Sydney and see the wonder of the Opera house. And that’s totally safe: Just remember to wear protective clothing, stay in well travelled areas, always know the nearest path to a hospital, and just generally try not to exist – because Australia is also home to over 280 species of poisonous spider, including that aforementioned Sydney Funnel Web Spider. What, did you think it was just a name? No, it lives in cities, in garages, in tool sheds and houses – it even swims. IT BLOODY SWIMS.

Seriously: Everything in Australia evolved solely to kill everything else in Australia – and you show up with your soft, unarmored skin, tiny, rounded teeth, and ridiculously non-poisonous spit and expect a vacation?

Food Scarcity